Score: 5

"What the hell is this???"

submission: Shinukoto!

date: October 3, 2008

Maybe I don't "understand" anime but seriously what the fuck is this? What's it supposed to be? Is it is supposed to comedic and nonsensical or dark and serious? You, along with anyone else who makes anime, can't just pick something and stick with it. It starts out all random with weird expressions, cartoon sound effects, happy music, a solid snake cameo, and let's not forget: the main character has cat ears and pink fucking hair! Then, all of a sudden, we enter a darkened hospital room with sad music in the background and we see some little kid's drawing of the main character. WHAT THE FUCK?! Am I supposed to laugh or cry?

Guess what? I didn't laugh because your slapstick and random humor wasn't well executed. And I didn't cry (or at least feel sorry for the protagonist) because I can't take any of your characters seriously, I mean, everyone has crazy hair colors and crazy expressions! Why can't you use their faces to show emotion... oh yeah that's because anime characters have virtually have no mouth or nose or pretty much any other facial feature! However, the eyes... the eyes are so fucking big that they look like they're in a constant state of surprise! Anyway, what are you trying to accomplish? Think about it.

Score: 5

"Yawn, same old..."

submission: Blueshift

date: August 7, 2008

I can't really designate this. It's just boring!

There are no real bullet patters, the enemies fire too fast, the ships look god awful, there aren't any interesting score systems like chains, there's too much to worry about, the health bar lowers any alertness, and there's a field of play that is bigger than your field of view! Good lord, play some shumps before making one of these! Your other games are fun and compelling, however none of their positive attributes have shown themselves in your take on this classic genre.

Score: 5

"Boring shmup..."

submission: Star Serpent Sigma

date: August 6, 2008

I think I'd rather go to the arcade than play this, thank you very much. The weapons are seriously under powered, the visuals are dull, the controls are stupid, the ship is too fast, the bullet patterns are laughably simplistic and easy to dodge, the enemies are boring, and the score system is boring.

With all those fallacies in mind it's obvious that this game is mediocre and adds nothing new to the genre. It seems you just made this game because you can. You haven't even studied any modern shumps, either, so this game is extremely outdated when compared to todays shmups. The game has nothing seen in modern shmups. We have interesting power-ups, complex bullet patterns, sharp controls, decent difficulty levels, lush visuals, cool ships, and awesome score systems. All that, and you give us this garbage that barely passes as a shump from the late eighties! Wow.